


In roaring, he shall rise

by sorrow_key



Category: Cuticle Tantei Inaba | Cuticle Detective Inaba
Genre: Angst, Author does their best, Author isn't funny though, Character Study, Crack Treated Seriously, Everything I write magically turns into those, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, WTF, what am I even writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrow_key/pseuds/sorrow_key
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nozaki Kei wasn't particularly interested in religion. Sure, he celebrated New Year and Buddha's Birthday just like everybody else, tried to be a somewhat decent person (and liked to think he succeeded). But no matter what you believed in, it didn't feed you or get you a good education or otherwise let you succeed in life. Literally, at least. And, as such, it wasn't important to Kei.</p><p>But standing on a ridiculously luxurious Cruise Liner with a petite woman covered by continually growing hair, a little girl literally flying around trying to cut it, his boss wearing drag (that looked surprisingly natural on him) and his senior assistant's (who was also crossdressing, but that was normal for Yuuta) corpse, while staring at their archenemies, who they get along strangely well with, he couldn't help but think, What have I done in my past life to deserve this. And also, why does no one ever listen to me?!</p><p>(Basically, everyone goes on a cruise, a kraken attacks and Haruka and Kei end up on an abandoned island together.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	In roaring, he shall rise

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Feel free to ignore this, the useless facts about the story will be posted at the end. I just wanna ramble.  
> Cuticle Detective Inaba is one of my favourite animes (why there no complete manga anywhere)! It's ridiculous, but at the same time kind of serious, making it real easy to write for it! Seriously, I didn't even need a plot or a whole notebook describing each chapter. So I'm mostly making things up as I go~  
> Also, this is mostly about Kei and Haruka, because for some strange reason, I'm especially attached to them and borderline ship them. Of course, everyone else will also play important roles, because I'm unable to stay in one PoV (Haruka is gonna be such a pain to write tho).  
> Anyways, this is a new experience for me and I hope you'll enjoy it, because I do too!  
> (Otherwise, I wouldn't write for this stupidly small fandom)

Nozaki Kei wasn't particularly interested in religion. Sure, he celebrated New Year and Buddha's Birthday just like everybody else, tried to be a somewhat decent person (and liked to think he succeeded). But no matter what you believed in, it didn't feed you or get you a good education or otherwise let you succeed in life. Literally, at least. And, as such, it wasn't important to Kei.

But standing on a ridiculously luxurious Cruise Liner with a petite woman covered by continually growing hair, his boss wearing drag (that looked surprisingly natural on him) and his senior assistant's (who was also crossdressing, but that was normal for Yuta) corpse, while staring at their archenemies, who they get along strangely well with, he couldn't help but think, What have I done in my past life to deserve this. And also, why does no one ever listen to me?!

 

_Some time ago, Inaba's office_

 

„No way!“

An outraged scream echoed through the whole street.

Some inhabitants shook their heads, but most were used to the commotion of the strange office that had a wooden bear in front of their door. They'd had no other choice but to accept this; for some reason, the police never listened to their numerous and partially hysterical requests to do something about them.

„But why not?“ a bestacled red-head whined. He looked like he was in his twenties, but that was impossible. Adults didn't grovel before highschoolers like kids begging their mothers to buy them icecream. However, nobody who knew him would dare to call Inaba Hiroshi an adult – most even refused to put him on a middle-schooler's level.

Nozaki Kei, for all his respect for his boss, was one of those people. Especially as he took a deep breath in order to tell a detective why going on a cruise with a random rich guy who claimed to be a fan of a rather shabby detective agency was **not** a good idea.

But at “-rich people just can't be trusted“, something thin and round was put into his mouth. A drinking straw.

“Relax, Kei-kun. Weren't you the one who said we need a vacation just last month?“ said the blonde wearing a skirt and a hawaiian shirt that screamed vacation for some reason with an innocent smile.

Yuta, Kei's senior (and according to him, Nr. 1) assistant was actually a boy. But, when asked about why he wore girls' clothes instead, he only answered, „Eh, don't I look cute in them?“

No one had an answer to that. Not even Kei, who had never asked himself – it was inappropriate. Now he was plain used to it.

Generally, it was an accepted fact that Yuta did what Yuta wanted to do. Mostly because no one could stop him anyway.

But that didn't keep Kei from trying. Or from being suspicious of Yuta's smile and the drink he was currently shoving in his mouth.

Still, since Yuta didn't seem to want to move the drink any time soon and Inaba-san was cheering him on while singing a strange song where “vacation, vacation~“ got repeated a lot, Kei decided to get it over with.

He cautiously took a sip.

Huh, it tasted... strange. Sort of coconut-ish. But somewhat tasty too.

Kei took the drink from Yuta, who grinned at him. Yuta being genuinely nice was disconcerting – he had to really want to go on that cruise.

And it wasn't like he was wrong either, because although it was them and their strangeness Kei needed a break from, it was a free trip with free food. He'd be a fool to refuse that!

And despite how his co-workers seemed, they were pretty strong. Even if it was a trap (which it most likely was), they'd deal with it. They might even get money out of it, if that rich fan turned out to be a villain and they turned him in.

„Alright, we can go,“ he acceded and smiled when Yuta and Inaba high-fived each other while gleefully yelling „yay!“.

“Careful, the drink,“ he warned, still smiling when they pulled him into a hug. “What sort was it anyways, Yuta-kun?“

„Oh, it's just water, actually,“ Yuta answered cheerfully. “I added sun lotion for flavor.“

Kei coughed and the juice landed on all of their clothes. A deadly silence fell as the brown-haired boy continued spitting out the drink, not noticing the murderous expression of a certain blonde.

“Is this a bad time?“ a deep voice asked from the door.

 

 

„A cruise, huh?“ detective Ogino hummed pensively.

„Yes! Can you please talk them out of it? I mean, it's obviously suspicious!“ Kei looked at the only actual adult in the room pleadingly, then glanced away. I, too, was possessed by the prospect of vacation on a luxurious ship, he thought. It's shameful, but as a poor person, it's too good to refuse! But Ogino-san will not be overtaken so easily.

„I have a favor to ask of you, Hiroshi,“ the detective asked and Kei nodded happily. Even though it was a shame to miss out on it, it was better to avoid danger. His mindset had suffered from being around non-sensical people and animals and in-between somethings – he'd almost forgotten how dangerous serious villai- criminals were.

Still, it was a shame about the cruise.

„Take my family with you,“ said Ogino and Kei's expectations slammed through the earth and burst into another galaxy, fell on an alien king's house and led to an inter-terranean war.

„No way,“ Inaba-san said. Yuta gestured a no with his hands too. His expression was scary, but Kei was relieved. There was no way they'd be able to protect Ogi-san's little daughter and wife (even if they were plenty strong themselves)!

„That rich guy, what's his name, is _my_ fan! You're just jealous I'm more popular than you,“ the red-head screeched through his teeth, crossing his arms.

Ah, so that was it, Kei thought and dropped a sweat. Over their joined effort in capturing Valentino, Ogi-san's and Inaba-san's passive-aggressive tension had almost ceased to exist, but now it was making a comeback.

At the best possible time. Kei thanked whatever Gods were listening for that.

„No, I'm not,“ Ogino calmly denied. „I don't really like being on water for a long time-“

„So why are you asking?!“ Kei cried, because, respect and formalities be damned, that was an innocent woman and her child they were talking about. From the corner of his eye, he saw Yuta furiously typing on his mobile, a villainous expression on his face.

Ogi-san, for some reason, blushed.

„Azusa really likes ships at the moment,“ he explained. „Look what she built in kindergarden!“

That explained a lot. Curious, the detective trio peered on the mobile's screen. The building on the photograph had probably been a play ground once. At least, the slide made them think so.

But otherwise, it was undeniably a ship. And a big one at that. Kei estimated it to be about the height of two trucks stacked together.

There was also a swing on the ship's pole. And it had a child on it. Their expression seemed faintly terrified to Kei, but it might as well have been ecstasy.

And right in front of it was the proud maker, comically short compared to the ship. Azusa's usual outfit was slightly dirty and she had paint on her nose.

„Isn't she cute?“ Ogi-san asked, completely unaware of the detectives' bewilderment.

„I can't even believe she's yours,“ Yuta commented, smiling amiably. „That brutish strenght is unmistakable though.“

Ogi-san's blush intensified and he even looked away in embarassment. Yuta glanced away too, but enraged. He even tch-ed.

Kei just looked at what had been his co-workers for almost half a year now, doubting both his and their life choices. But it was too late for that. Even if I backed out now, Kei thought, I'd probably just run into Valentino in the grocery store or something. (Unbeknownst to him, the Don, who'd been shopping with Lorenzo in the area, coughed at that moment.)

„So, will you take her with you?“ the officer, who'd apparently steadied himself, asked.

Now the werewolf seemed pensive. Oh no, Inaba-san likes children!, Kei thought worriedly. If Ogi-san doesn't come along, he might actually agree. I can't let that happen!

„Hey, Inaba-san,“ he started, desperately thinking for an excuse not to take them with them (or, even better, not to go at all, but listen, Kei was only human too!).

„Yes, Kei-kun?“ the bestacled detective replied.

Bad idea, Nozaki thought, now everyone's staring at me. Well, at least everyone except for Yuuta, who was busy with his phone again.

„The invitation was for our Detective Agency, right? So, sorry, Ogi-san, but I don't think we can take your family with us.“

„So it's like that,“ the policeman sighed.

„Eh, but on their profile they write that we can take friends along,“ Yuuta commented without looking up. As such, he didn't see Nozaki's wild gestures trying to shut him up.

„Profile?“ the werewolf and his (former) 'keeper' asked in unison.

„Yes, on RamsBook!“

There still seemed to be question marks above the adults' heads.

„What, you don't know RamsBook?“ Yuuta gasped.

They shook their heads.

„It's a communication website on the internet that's really popular for some reason even though it has a term for goat within its name,“ Kei explained, glad to have gotten away from the topic of cruises.

„Never heard of it,“ Ogino replied. „What is this thing you call 'website?“

Kei just barely resisted the urge to facepalm.

 

Several hours later, Ogino and Inaba had some idea about what the internet was. It had been a painful process – especially for Ogino, who'd been electrocuted by Yuuta), full of trials, such as Inaba getting addicted to poking and Ogi spamming acquintances he found online with pictures of his daughter (those acquintances happened to be influential police officers) and after all was said and done, Kei just wanted to lay down and cuddle with a cat. Even a toy cat would do. Or the picture of a cat.

Mostly, he wanted to get away from the craziness that was his work and relax.

So, when Inaba decided that Ogi's wife and daughter should join them with the obvious ulterior motive of making Azusa think of him as cooler than her dad and Yuuta agreed because of the slightly less obvious ulterior motive of staging a murder that looked like an accident, Kei didn't have the strenght to protest or at least remind his co-workers of the danger to both themselves and others.

Everything only went downhill from there.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a quote from Alfred Tennyson's sonnet 'The Kraken':  
> Then once by man and angels to be seen,  
> In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
> 
> Squids are a running gag from the manga, but I actually had this idea before reading the little scraps I found online. I'm still unsure how to feel about that...
> 
> Anyone who read the manga: Please tell me where you found it!
> 
> Anyone reading this: Please comment or talk to me on tumblr (username's whatevsbla) or fanfiction.net (SkeyNoSorrow) or wattpad (Skey_fak_mai_laif). This will be crossposted on the two latter. Also, none of my friends like CDI and I wanna talk to people who do!


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